It was never easy growing up as a South Indian child in North India. I still remember my growing up days in Indore. Initially my own school mates used to stare at me and ask... "Kahan se aaye ho tum?" The more sophisticated ones would ask "New Admission?" People living around us would stare at me and my little sister and say "Madrasi hain..." I was so eager to educate them that Madras is 24+ hours journey from my native place. But where exactly is my native place? Is it Madras or Trivandrum or Pandalam or Indore or Dubai or Bhutan; where my father and mother had spent a number of years...
My so-called south Indian looks give the first impression that I am from the mallu-land, but then supremely pronounced abuses in Hindi may confuse anyone that I am a bhaiya from UP or MP. The use of slang Hindi words may suggest that I'm from amchi mumbai; but the seemingly mallu influence in my english and my love for mota rice and sambar push me towards travancore.
I have moved to Dubai and even now people ask me the same question, and quite frankly I'm sick of answering it... I realize that the easiest way is to stick to one answer... "I am from Indore" I even feel like throwing a counter question back at them... "How do you define a native place?" Is it the city where either of my parents were born or is it the city where either of them grew up or is it where either of them had spent most time prior to getting married or is it a step higher and has something to do with where my grand parents were from or where they spent most of their lives? Is it where I was born or where I went to school or to college? I have a diff answer for each of the questions... but all this has helped me become multilingual and adapt to different cultures easily...
I was having lunch with one of my friends when she asked me... "Tu kahan settle hoga?" Wasn't I supposed to be at home; back in my home-land? I felt like I was caught in no man's land. In retrospect, a popular Hindi phrase immediately comes to my mind. "Dhobi ka kutta... Na ghar ka; na ghaat ka"
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I offer my sympathies for all the sufferings which come into your share cause of ur typical mallu ~ madrasi look. Being a north Indian, I myself would have conveniently categorized numerous southy looking individuals as “Madrasi”!
The opportunity of growing up under the influence of different cultures broadens the perspective in an amazing way. I have spent most of my years in Lucknow, but I once I stepped out, I didn’t take long in recognizing the benefits. Honestly, I am not confused about where do I belong to but I guess my kids are going to face the question. Born in Bahrain, raised in Bahrain and now in Dubai, not sure where going to move next and for how long, visiting India every six months and wondering where do all these people go (relatives) after few days!? At their tender age, for them belonging to home is to come back to the place where their play room is and they have access to all their toys. We recently went to Muscat for a weekend trip and at the Hotel my elder one was asking, “mama, why is there only one room in Muscat? This is not home as I can not see my toys.”
The question of “where to settle down” does come to mind once in a while. While I love the idea of exploring a new place every few years, really do not know when and where will we find the place where can think about settling down for good. Keeping my fingers crossed…
Dear Brother,
This is a time of globalization. Think internationally :). No matter what is your country, religion or ethnicity, it matters how well you adjust or get mingled with other people.
About settling somewhere, for us that all depends where we can take care of our duties best. Like I need to go back to parents after a while. Because they need me once they will be old.
But what we will do for living ? thats the question comes to my mind. Either earn too much money so that you do not have any scarcity later or have some cows for milk.
What do you say ?
Thinking back on my experiences as a southy in the west, I find myself thinking that I wudnt have it any other way!
I have always enjoyed being part of the minority.I have revelled in the attention and distinction of being the mallu among the marathis and the bambaiyya among the madrasis.
That doesnt mean I flashed my background around, I have a way with blending in.I have always been concious not to let my looks give away my lineage.
I relished the compliments that came, by way of my fluent marathi and accentless hindi.When marveled at, I wud retort "CBSE board!"
But beyond my schooling, I think it was this respect for languages that my Dad instilled in us, that makes me take that extra effort to use a language the way it is supposed to be used, not abused!
He used to scold us if we spoke Minglish or Hinglish or Mindi at home. Which is when you mixed languages in the same sentence.
Fact is, I hate being slotted and my mixed, multicultural upbringing serves me well in standing out in the crowd,wherever I go.Not visually of course!
Knowing different cultures, with their diverse traditions,festivals and not to forget varied cuisine, has made me a better person and enriched my life beyond description.It has also given me the ability to feel comfortable with any group.
I cannot forget how I used to introduce myself differently to a new teacher depending on whether he/she was a mallu or tallu.You see though I am a mallu, I also happen have a tallu connection as my mother's family was settled in Madurai.So it was either "I was born in Madurai" or "My dad is from Trichur" Call it opportunism in a small way.
In conclusion, man I am who I am because of all the different cultures I was exposed to, and who am I? A lil mallu, a lil tallu, a lil ghati, a lil bongo, a lil punju and now a lil arabic too!Isnt it exciting to have so many facets to yourself! I am myself and there's none other quite like me...
No, I wudnt have it any other way,period.
Rajani
Its funny how people want to associate you with where you came from and where you belong to...I mean how does it even matter?
I was working for a multi national oranization in Dubai where the local ladies would come and ask me 'so your mallu? are you south indian?' Its sooo annoying because
1- I am not south Indian[no offense to anyone out there but i dont even look south indian if thats a justification!]
2- If there is a south India -there would also be a north,west and east India....but THAT is beyond comprehension!!!
Every brown skin coloured human in Dubai has got to be tagged as South Indian, mallu or from Kerala....thats as much as foreigners know about our dear India....Pity!
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