Do I really need a CHANGE ???

Just finished watching this week MTV Roadies; the kids whom I wanted to stay back, have lost. Stepped out to the balcony to have a smoke (Garham - I bought it from Smokers Point; Deira City Center). The cardamom essence in its smoke and the sweet flavor on the lips makes it one of my much loved brands. May be these cylindrical structures of health hazardous tobacco rapped in a paper with filter at its one end acts as the stamina sticks for me and gives the mental picture for doing something constructive.

“You have a meeting tomorrow Baiju; uski taiyari to kar le” I switched on my laptop. I was over with my homework in 45mins. “Hey!!! I have downloaded some not-so-old songs; wo baja na re” The songs started playing from my laptop speakers – “Kabhi Bhoola Kabhi Yaad Kiya… (Sapne Saajan Ke)”

“Ek hot shower le lena chahiye; lekin its summer Baiju, n u want to take a hot shower… to kya hua; its relaxing” Next minute I was under the shower. Thoughts flowed through my mind. Morning Vishal was at my place and we were having a look at our old photographs. He mimicked “Tu abhi bhi waisa ka waisa hai; bilkul nahi badla”

I was out of shower and standing in front of mirror with my hands resting on the washbasin. The mirror was covered with steam all over it. I swiped it with my hand…. “mei sahi mei waisa ka waisa hi hu kya? Three of my close friends in dubai had gone thru a drastic change in their appearance; wo bhi last one week mei. Renu had changed her hair style; she looks much pretty. Vishal ban gaya hai much-munda-ghuspethiya ;) (It was a shock when I saw him clean shaved. HUSH!!!) Shipra had pierced her nose and she looks cool (she definitely carries her well) “Apun ko bhi kuch change karne ka hai; I don’t want to be the same person forever”

“I NEED A CHANGE…..”

“Kuttey!!! Shave banaya? Weekend is over and kal teri meeting hai; atleast shave karle.. khud ka makeover baad mei kar lena.. Hmm… Yaar... maro goli.. kal morning banayenge… kisi ko kuch bhi karne do.. apun aisa’ich rahega…Baiju is what Baiju is… Any changes in my appearance or personality will change me. I will not be the same Baiju anymore”

Wrapped my towel and came out; it was “Hum laakh cupaye pyaar magar; duniya ko pata chal jaayega; Lekin Chup Chup Ke Milne Se milne ka maza to aayega (Jaan Tere Naam)”

How I did it ???

Ever since I entered my teens (infact I got more excited after I cleared my 10th class)... I had this question in my mind - "Should I do it? After all, being a teenager, I thot it wasn't anything wrong. But unlike many boys of my age, it was in my mind all the time. Ever since my hormones got excited, I remember wondering about it.

Like any teenager, I turned to my friends… Shailandre; Mando (short for Amit Mandloi) and Shainon… When I asked them in the English class, each one gave me a unique weird look.

"Tera Dimaag kharaab hai??? Abhi mujhe class mei disturb mat karey…" Mando was always one so-sweet-sincere-student. I thought I should have never asked this guy.

Shainon whispered… "Abey!! Tere paas sochne ko kuch aur nahi hai kya? Kab yeh period khatam hoga and chemistry period chalu hoga… (It was not that shainon was too keen to study chemistry… there was a different chemistry behind this… We were in “B” section and Shainon’s daav was in “A” section… our chemistry mam used to combine both the sections to take her classes) I thot he wud give me an answer; after all he was a year older than us….

Shailandre smiled and added, "Maine bhi kaafi socha tha… abhi apun log ispey baat nahi kartey, I'm watching Rashmi Mishra Mam (The English teacher)" I can’t blame it on Shailandre… as me too had a crush on her…

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Having thot enuf about it… finally the yr before leaving school I did it. On a momentary impulse I finally shaved my moustache on the "TEACHER'S DAY". So me got a special incident to remember on Teachers Day, other than Rashmi Mishra Mam...

CHEERS !!!

10 things I did today !!!

1. Peed on the toilet seat.
2. Shaved with a bar of soap.
3. Drank some expired milk, never realized it was bad untill I drank all of it.
4. Came in an hour+ late for work.
5. Downloaded mp3 songs of "Race" to listen at work.
6. Dropped some food stuff on my leg at lunch time, It looked like a shit in front of my pants.
7. Made eye contact with a pretty girl while singing to myself on my way back frm office.
8. Went to the restaurant across the street frm my apartment for the 1st time.
9. Did my prayers.
10. Wrote this blog that no one will read.

Wow, she's pretty!

When I was in the 4th grade... I saw a group of 8th graders in a single file walking out of the skool canteen.... Suddenly sum1 caught my eyes. She was a b'ful woman. I said "woman" bcoz at that time, anyone whose age was in double digits was an adult to me... She must be 11/12 /13 and was gorgeous. She cud have been a Punjabi kudi... She also cud have been Bengali / Tamilian / Marathi or even a Mallu and although there was no such label existing during that days... all i know at that time was that she wud be definelty from India (native bhutnese & nepali had a different look) whose parents where in Bhutan.. But all I can recall to this very day is that her hair was too straight to be totally Black and her olive brown complexion was too dark to be considered remotely White. When she walked away with her frnds to their classroom, I thot to myself.... "Who was this gorgeous enchantress who took a wisp of breath from my lungs, made my heart skip a few beats and enamored my soul?" Unfortunately, the average seven year old doesn't have words like "gorgeous enchantress" and "enamored" in his vocab and wud have trouble pronouncing those words. So, in my 7yr-old mind it sounded more like... "Wow, she's pretty!" From that day on... the highlight of the day wasn't at recess / lunch breaks / games periods.... but actually just before it.... watching that exotic teen goddess and the rest of the 8th grade adults walking out of the school canteen as we were walking in.

I once wondered: Did I have a crush on her because I genuinely liked her and was attracted to her....

Company e-mail - Part 2

Two days later, I had already spent 48 hrs on Lotus CC-mail.. Then… I got a mail from Bill Gates. I fainted… then recovered partially, my heart-beat was very fast. I checked the name of sender again… it showed me “Bill Gates”… sahi hai bachu… Baiju beta… u have received a mail from Bill Gates!! You know? Bill Gates… nikal padi re teri to… I ran to my project manager… "Ashishhhh" I screamed, as he was about to munch a hotdog. He was troubled, "kaun hai bey??" I was a little disappointed. Only a week back.. I met him near the coffee machine and I even had a small talk with him at that time. I think I asked him "Hows u??" n he replied "I am fine. How r u?" How could he forget me that easily?

"Ashish, I am Baiju… Yaad hai? We met the other day near the coffee machine and I asked u.. Hows u doing.. to which u replied… “I am fine. How are you?” to which I replied…."
"Cut the crap Baiju.. Whats the problem?"
I took a deep breath... I imagined his reaction. His eyes wud bulge out, his mouth wud open and he wud stand up forgettin his hotdog... "You got a mail frm Bill Gates? Oh Baiju! Take a seat. We need to talk. I think you deserve 50,000 Rs / mnth. U r a great guy."
"What do u want Baiju?" Ashish barked again.
I woke up and replied…. "I got a mail."
"What mail?"
"It doesn't matter. What matters is the name of the sender."
"Kiska hai?"
"Bill Gates… Ashish its Bill Gates…"
"What?"
"Haan.. Bill Gates.. he offered me a free copy of Windows OS; if I forward his mail to fifteen people."
There was silence…. pin drop silence…

Then… I was pushed out of his room and I landed right on the floor in the corridor. The door shut on my face. I was kunfusd. Who the hell did he think he was dealing with? maakda... he don know me... Bill Gates selected me personally! I wud rather resign n go to Microsoft.... Mr. Bill Gates wud offer me a great job there.

I took a white paper and scribbled my resignation. I went to him again. Ashish opened it and shouted, "Now what?"
"Here is my resignation Ashish."
"What?"
"Yep I am quitting."

He read aloud my resignation letter, "Even though I have been chosen personally by the Chairman of Microsoft, Mr. Bill Gates; STPL Systems has failed to recognize my worth and treated me like dirt. I would like to resign my job as a trainee software devloper here and join Microsoft where I would get a red carpet welcome."

He looked at me crazily. Shud I bother? He picked up the phone and called CCD. Vaishali appeared in no time. "Tell him about the Bill Gates Windows 98 mail" Ashish told her.
She laughed and laughed and laughed… and whenever she saw me in the office, she would burst out laughing. I couldn't show my face to anybody. I didn't come out of my cubicle for a long time. Then one day Ashish came to my seat and told me that it was all right. Only three of us knew about the episode and I shouldn't sacrifice my social life bcoz of it... He looked like Bajrang Bali ji. He blessed me and disappeared from there… Vaishali laughed again. I too smiled. I was foolish but it was fun :)

Eight yrs down the line, I have moved on and I have received x number of chainmails / virus and Bill Gates promotion hoax mails... I am a little more matured now. But I still laughs at myself whenever I remember that incident…

Company e-mail - Part 1

Havin a company email ID - urname@urcompanyname.com was which i had always dreamt of when i was in college. I had my Yahoo / Hotmail / Gmail / Rediffmail / Indiatimes / Sify... (the list is endless & countless) but havin @companyname.com was sumthng like a “Jhaanki-mandap”

Immediately aftr joinin STPL Systems as a trainee, I discovered that email was sumthng special. I didn't touch the email application for a week.

Surbhi laughed at me one day. "Kya??? U don knw how to check ur email?" I wanted 2 yell at myself; but ended up murmuring.. “Bhen di takki.. saali”.. Anyhow that was insulting… Wht cud b more insulting to a boy than getin a remark like this frm the most beautiful girl of the batch…

I was determined to xplore email. With shaky hands I double clicked on the icon 'Lotus CC-mail' half expectin a loud explosion. It didn't explode. It just asked me for my password.

I called up the CCD (Computers & Communications Dept.)
"Hello CCD" a sweet voice answered.
I took a deep breath and told her tht sumthng had gone terribly wrong with my PC.
"It is askin me to supply sum password" I told her.
There was absolute silence for 2 minutes frm the other side.
Then the sweet voice boomed again, "Enter ur password."
"Wht the hell is my password?"
"How do I know?"
"I don know either."
"OK… U have never used mail before?"
"I have…. I have used mail all my life .. Since I was a kid."
"Excuse me? Did u say u used to mail when u were a kid?"
"Yep! My grandmother used to forward me jokes and other stuff."
"Ur grandmother??"
"Yep! Such a nice lady she'd been…. Even when she was eighty years old she could find time to send me jokes."
"Wait... you mean to say your eighty year old grandmother could use this mail application?"
“Yes!!! Y not?
"Errrr.. Baiju!!!"
"Yes Vaishali"
"I think we need to talk"
"What do u think we r doin now?"
"We are gibbering Baiju.. That's what we r doin."
"What do u mean?"
"Wait a second."
A minute later she appeared in front of my desk. Half an hour later I stared into her eyes with hero worship.. err... heroine worship.
"You are great Vaishali."
"Nope I am not Baiju."
"No no .. ur great.. u set up my email. That is a great thing to do."
"Nope Baiju, I just reset ur password and entered it. I did nothing else."
"Where did u learn all these things Vaishali?"
She looked out frm the 4th floor window. Then she looked at the walls. And then she looked down at the concrete basement. Then she shook her head.
"STPL Systems taught me all these things Baiju." She said slowly.
"Oh" I said, "Did they?"
"Yep they did."
"Then why are they not teaching those things to me?"
She looked at the walls once again and walked up to it. "You don need to know those things Baiju. I am here to help u guys only."
"But u won't b there with me thru-out my life Vaishali"
"Excuse me?"
"Thanks for the help Vaishali."
"Baiju"
"Yep Vaishali"
"Who interviewed u during ur recruitment?"
"Chandragupth Mourya…"
"Oh! I c."
"What?"
"Nothing"
"I smell fish"
"Then… Cook it Baiju."
With that she was gone….